I don’t want to be selfish.

I do not know what love did to me, I was  stay alone for years without love and without any feelings, made me stiff and hard, and the conditions around me, my mother and all the psychological pressures. I resist depression. Yes, I resist with all my strength. He will not be able to kill me. And as I said before, I do not know why I became so.. I don’t want to be selfish or to own the I love and I do not know why I became so annoying and why I raged at him for reasons unknown .. I do not know how to overcome all this in me, I am afraid of losing him, afraid to be a reason to leave me, I’m not a perfect woman, I’m not perfect, I do not even feel like others, maybe my heart and soul are different from them but I do not look like other women there and I don’t look like successes women ..

I live in a different world in a different family, different situation and in a different psychological impact … and all my world is bleak but he lights up the darkens of my life .. He is the secret of my smile .. I know that I exaggerate in the actions of my actions I am sensitive, emotional and emotional Very .. I do not want him to hate me .. I do not want him to encourage to leave … He needs me and I need him .. My heart beats on my cruelty with him for every absence .. For every moment did not smile to him and I cried for him ..I do notknow iif I should lie to him and tell him that I enjoy the life I do not live, I don’t want him to hate me and move away before we meet..

I love him So Much and I fear him from my love and my possession .. He is the goodness and tenderness that I do not want to lose. I do not want my huge love for him to be reason to hurt him..

I don’t know what to do..I must change.

Hiba Shalabi

#mylove #mywords #myfeelings

Must Change

I think it is time for change .. Yes change myself and change my life, I do not know what this change will be and how it will become, but I need to restore my strength again, my strength on my own and not with the help of anyone ..my strength that will enable me to recover myself and recover rest and calm  , Every passerby has a touch in our lives, each story has an impact on ourselves, perhaps a negative and perhaps positive impact … I have always been the most alive of life and activity and with time and time I have been changed because of the circumstances .. I have become the most isolated and lonely people, my only world is this Internet , Like many people around me, and each of us have his interests and ambition and work and dreams .. Back to my dreams or ambitions .. Global crisp .. Poor .. Rotating tears it .. Tired … Nothing brings hope in Libya, nothing brings joy and happiness .. Mother is a country to die.

It is a country where dreams die, it is a pain that never ends, and the pains in my life mix and mix to slap my heart until it dies too … Change in all its beauty may be ugly to others close to us.

The change that will increase my loneliness and knowledge and diminish the presence of human beings around me. I have missed my lost years in a country that does not recognize the freedom and thought of women.

Even when I change no-one will  miss me .. All the longing will be the center of their own, and what they were getting from my support and love and interest ..

In my heart is the tingling of fear .. The change that will uproot everything with me .. I try to convince myself this change with my fear of my weakness and inability to achieve but I must change..

Hiba Shalabi

#change #hibashalabi #libya #fear #pain

The love of my life

As long as I heard stories of love and adventure, I dreamed of a similar story to write characters in my imagination. I paint a hero with blue eyes I do not know why .. But I love blue, it’s the color of comfort and safety, I was looking in my dreams about a man who looks like my father in good heart and tenderness And overnight after my return from a 5-day trip in Rome ..my dram started happens, He came to my world as I dreamed of him, blue eyes and brave, kind hearted, affectionate, honest ..

that dream I will keep in my heart and protect it with all my strength, he is my safety in a scary world, he is the man who brought my heart back to life After years I thought that my heart had died, he is the passion that will not end and the warmth that did not get cold .. It’s so lovely and nice that I renew my Islamic with him .. He is a gift of Allah to me at a time when I was crying pain from a dry heart .. My love for him will stay forever and will not end and I will not give up on him. nothing will take me away from him but death  .. I only want him and nobody else ..

We have many things to share together. So many things to fight together in this world. I need him that much he needs me. almost his rapid heartbeat takes my heart out of his chest..

Do not pass a moment but I feel that pulse and great longing to meet .. We will meet (Insha Allah) and achieve our dream and grow together.

My love is bigger than this universe and more generous, I will give him all the love, attention, sincerity, honesty and tenderness .. I will make him the happiest man in this world.

He is The story of my love and the hope of my life. He is my everything. He’s my happiness.. And my future.

💙❤️ Hiba Shalabi

#love #story #hibashalabi #myhero #myeverything #habibi

The chaos of the soul is the heart

I feel I’m in a state of intellectual chaos, in a conflict with my heart and my mind, that dreadful silence, that unknown future. I find myself selfishness to think about love, happiness and life. When I am in an unknown psychological and health condition. I no longer understand myself. What today hidden to me before tomorrow, when you live in a dark forest, light comes from far away amid sadness and great anxiety .. All the decisions that I have exhausted between myself I find myself unable to achieve .. Depression It breaks me every time .. Cry my heart deeply .. It is dark and brutal … even with the recent love in my life, but I feel a lot of despair and frustration overlap causes .. It is menopause and those changes thousand In my body .. I am getting older day after day .. Who can bear the burden of all my defects..

I feel like a teenager at the age of 24 in the body of 42 ..I  do not know why we grow up and change, I do not know why life is not fair with us, I do not know why I live in a society that suppresses our dreams. I do not know why I was born in a body I do not love and do not know how to deal with .. I do not know why our parents are born us when they break our hopes At an early age, our spirits are broken into our bodies..

We grow up before the time comes .. We die in our bodies in a country that restricts our freedom.

Hiba Shalabi 

6 July 2019.. Tripoli, Ly

#hibashalabi #hints #chaos #mywritten #soul  #heart #feel #life #growing #July2019

Our Childhood Memories

The memories of our childhood on the old refrigerator in our house 🏡
I love to look at them. I feel all those beautiful past days.

Stickers in candy and gift .. I loved collecting and sticking it on the door of the refrigerator. Sometimes my mother refuses it and sometimes I stick it away from her. 😁

Until the calendar of Ramadan. I used to see it sticker with magnets

on the fridge. I started doing the same thing when I grew up ..

The memories of our childhood continue with us generation after generation

#HibaShalabi

Save Old City Of Tripoli

‏لا أعرف ما إذا كان بإمكانكم مساعدتنا على الحفاظ على الآثار القديمة في ليبيا.أرجوا منكم مساعدتنا على إنقاذ المدينةالقديمة في طرابلس من التخريب والبناء الجديد.
الصو

‎I don’t know if You can help us preserve the monuments & old buildings in Libya.Please help us save the old city in Tripoli from sabotage & new construction. Pictures of the old city -Dec 2017
#Save_The_OldCity_Of_Tripoli
‏‎‎#أنقذوا_المدينة_القديمة_طرابلس ‎#أنقذوا_المدينة_القديمة #Tripoli #Libya
#HibaShalabi #طرابلس #ليبيا

getting older

I’m having a very stranger feeling these days.I never have it before.

Oh I’m getting older in age .and I did nothing to myself that make me happy .

I spent my life have fun and laugh. I did not stop on the fact that I grew up with age, and I did not realize anything special for myself. However, i became only known by name as a Libyan photographer .

In Libya. The life being different. I can’t be myself , I can’t  live my life as I want. Libyan society intervenes too much in the lives of women here specially when the get older .Watching driven. Refuse to success.

Time passes quickly and without any interest here, I feel a great frustration and despair.

#grew #hibashalabi #libya #photos

Hidden

A hidden face.that’s the subject I gave it to my work. She likes to be a model but her family won’t accept that.

I faced this stations too in libya.My brother hated to see my name or my personality picture online.I tried to be known under any fake name or behind my camera. And I win .

This photo was talking by me ©Hiba Shalabi. 

Hidden That’s what I named my work.

#Hidden #hibashalabi #libya #photos